Laura Briley wrote an e-mail inviting us to a barbecue in Tulsa. “Ridiculous,” I thought. And then I went. And along the way to the potato salad and pork, I had time to be with and learn from Anna Tardos, Director Pikler Institute Budapest, Hungary, and Agnes Szanto, VP Associ International Pikler and Association Pikler Lóczy de France–and other amazing people who are part of this work with Day Schools Child Development Centers in Tulsa and Pikler Lóczy USA. As I sat through the training day that was an introduction to the Pikler approach to being with children, I was reminded of the pleasures of being exposed to new ideas, of having the opportunity to learn, to be inspired.

My takeaway ideas to wrestle with in my work and with my grandchildren are about
•great respect for individual children and their rights and abilities to participate in their own development and lead their own learning
•the importance of really seeing, not looking at, not just watching, children in action with the intent to understand who they are and what they want to engage in
•the delicate balance of when the adult best engages actively with a child and when the adult respectfully defers to the child’s intentions

Working with these ideas during my time with Caroline and Zachary left me floundering as often as not. There were questions about what Caroline’s cries might mean and what amount of frustration might be a good thing. I think the questions and the indecision might be good in that in each moment we were thinking a bit differently and definitely more respectfully about what Caroline might be trying to tell us.