Laura Briley wrote an e-mail inviting us to a barbecue in Tulsa. “Ridiculous,” I thought. And then I went. And along the way to the potato salad and pork, I had time to be with and learn from Anna Tardos, Director Pikler Institute Budapest, Hungary, and Agnes Szanto, VP Associ International Pikler and Association Pikler Lóczy de France–and other amazing people who are part of this work with Day Schools Child Development Centers in Tulsa and Pikler Lóczy USA. As I sat through the training day that was an introduction to the Pikler approach to being with children, I was reminded of the pleasures of being exposed to new ideas, of having the opportunity to learn, to be inspired.

My takeaway ideas to wrestle with in my work and with my grandchildren are about
•great respect for individual children and their rights and abilities to participate in their own development and lead their own learning
•the importance of really seeing, not looking at, not just watching, children in action with the intent to understand who they are and what they want to engage in
•the delicate balance of when the adult best engages actively with a child and when the adult respectfully defers to the child’s intentions

Working with these ideas during my time with Caroline and Zachary left me floundering as often as not. There were questions about what Caroline’s cries might mean and what amount of frustration might be a good thing. I think the questions and the indecision might be good in that in each moment we were thinking a bit differently and definitely more respectfully about what Caroline might be trying to tell us.

“To feel the love of people whom we love is a fire that feeds our life. But to feel the affection that comes from those whom we do not know, from those unknown to us, who are watching over our sleep and solitude, over our dangers and our weaknesses—that is something still greater and more beautiful because it widens out the boundaries of our being, and unites all living things.”
Pablo Neruda, “Childhood and Poetry”

Kevin Carnes from Lakeshore Learning Materials was in town and spent a few hours with us, sitting in the Seattle sunshine (yes, that’s sunshine!), brainstorming ideas for World Forum 2011 in Honolulu. Kevin could write a book on the art of brainstorming. He brings his full attention to the topic at hand, listens–really listens–and then stirs the storm. Ideas are never sorted along the way: that’s too expensive, too challenging, too disruptive, too crazy, too boring–all ideas are collected and enjoyed. There is much laughter and excitement. It doesn’t seem to matter whose project we are thinking about. The ideas are the goal. There is such joy in a real storm among brains. Of course, heart is important, when we begin sorting the ideas; but Kevin has a great one of those, too.

One of the directors I met in Detroit was Shirley Wright-Haley of Little Scholars. We arrived too late to see children in action, but I did have the opportunity to ask one of the teachers what she was proud of. Wow, this should have been recorded! If each of us could be as passionate and eloquent about our work, we’d be able to get anyone and everyone’s attention anytime we wanted it. Shirley is involved in business mentoring through First Children’s Finance and here is roughly what she has to say about her new skill set:
“I have big dreams and goals. I’m not in a hurry now to reach them. I know that first I have to make this solid. Now I know I can make it. I’m the expert on Little Scholars. I want to be on the top, not just high quality, but the very best.”